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The prison governor of Cyprus has been sacked for incompetence, the CM reports.

"Can I have my old job back?"

The ex-cop, George Tryfonides, Mr. Three Voices, said his “conscience is clear” despite the fact that appalling conditions at the prisons have driven five inmates to suicide in the last seven months.

He still thinks he did a good job.  “I’ve executed my duties to the fullest,” he said on state radio yesterday.

He’s certainly done a lot of execution.

In the interim, while there’s no one running the shop, scary-looking balaclava-clad, truncheon-carrying MMAD cops (riot squad hard cases) have been sent in "to restore calm and confidence."

Because the sight of those guys is really going to cheer up depressed inmates and stop them from topping themselves.

Do they have to wear balaclavas in summer?  Sweaty.  Must play havoc with their skin too.  

Justice minister Jonas Nicolaou says the government is “on top of the situation”. 

So the 22-year-old Romanian who was reportedly gang-raped by other inmates last week and the 28-year-old Bulgarian found hanged in his cell this week were just being churlish.  The other 4 who committed suicide were happy bunnies, really. 

And who is rushing to fill Tryfonides’ shoes?  Applications so far: 0

The previous prisons chief, Michalis Hadjidemetriou, was sentenced to 2 months in prison himself for professional negligence.  It seems to be one of the job requirements.  He appealed, of course, and the final outcome of his case is still pending, surprise, surprise. 

Head of the prison wardens association, Charalambos Frangoulides, rejected allegations of corruption among Cypriot prison staff (he would, wouldn’t he?).  Bribery, allowing and/or aiding and abetting the use of drugs or mobile phones by prisoners, and turning a blind eye to rape or violence - no, none of that happens.  They all just like a good game of Scrabble. 

Why do we have a riot squad babysitting the prison if there are no riots?

As for the ones with serious mental health issues - that's the prisoners, not the screws - “If an inmate is determined to take their own life, one way or another they will succeed,” Frangoulides said with a proverbial shrug. 

They’re even giving out free razors. 

Lord, You offer freedom to all people.  We pray for those in prison.  Break the bonds of fear and isolation that exist.  Support with Your love prisoners and their families and friends, prison staff and all who care.  Heal those who have been wounded by the actions of others, especially the victims of crime.  Help us to forgive one another, to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with Christ in His strength and in His Spirit, now and every day.  Amen. 

Chumps of the week

200 kilograms of air mail destined for Cyprus via Athens are missing, according to Peter Stevenson in the CM today.  

Chief postal superintendent of Cyprus, Pavlos Pavlides, said: "either the mail was misplaced or put on the wrong plane".  

Isn't that the same thing?  

Nobody seems to know where the missing mail bags are.  

"We would like to apologise to everyone who is expecting mail," [yes, it is Christmas] "despite it not being our fault," Pavlides said.  

Of course it's not the Cyprus PO's fault!  Why break the habit of a lifetime and claim responsibility for anything?  Just blame it on Athens.  

Chumps of the week.  It's an honour really.  

Fortitudo Dei, St. Gabriel the Archangel, the greatest of messengers.  

Boom

While Greece and Cyprus are on their financial knees with their begging bowls out, they still have the resources to conduct missile tests, Angelos Anastasiou of the CM reports.  

The long-range surface-to-air missiles, bought from Russia in 1997 at an estimated cost of 200-300 million euro (official figures were shrouded in secrecy), ended up on the island of Crete to avoid annoying Turkey too much, who issued a warning of a military strike against Cyprus if the missiles were kept in Cyprus.  

Codenamed Operation White Eagle 2013 (not a very scary name really), the S-300s were tested for the first time at Chania yesterday, with the Greek and Cypriot defence ministers looking on.  It was the first ever test of this particular missile system by a NATO member.  

I suppose they wanted to check that they're still working 16 years after the initial purchase.  They are.  Turkey will not be amused.  

Angela Merkel will be delighted that EU bailout funds to Greece and Cyprus are being to put to such good use.  Meanwhile, in both countries, families are starving, businesses are going bust, unemployment rising, state workers on strike, and banks are calling in loans.  Cyprus could have just sold the missiles rather than play with fireworks.  

Another dazzling stroke of genius from Mr. Resurrection (President Anastasiades).  But he can always follow Christofias's example and pretend he "didn't know" what the defence minister was doing.  

Give me the grace, good Lord, to set the world at nought.  To set the mind firmly on you and not to hang on upon the words of men's mouths.
- St. Thomas More, patron saint of politicians

If in doubt just met it up

Snow levels on Troodos are being estimated by a cop because the Met Office's weather reading machine is broken, the CM tells us.

And they haven't got round to fixing it yet. 

"I don't know how [the police officer] estimates [snow] levels but I'm sure he must have something..." said met officer Panayiotis Mouskos vaguely on CYBC radio yesterday. 

"But it doesn't matter very much whether it's 80cm or 78cm or 82cm," he added.  

Tell that to the mountain villagers who've been stranded without supplies for the last 4 days.  

Minister of the interior, Socrates Hasikos, said the state doesn't have the kind of equipment available in other countries that regularly experience such weather.  

What, a digger?

Standing on the shoulders of giants. 

The deceitful man shall not find gain, but the substance of a just man shall be precious gold.  
- Proverbs 12:27 (DR)