A bum rap

A man who stole a mobile phone was shot in the tooshie by an enraged shotgun-wielding Cypriot guy in Larnaca in broad daylight, the CM reports. 

I only wanted to call my mum

The 51-year-old Cypriot left his car unlocked with his mobile inside it.  Genius.   On returning to the car and realising his phone was missing, he asked around and was given a description of two men seen acting suspiciously around the car.  He drove around hunting for them – literally – found and confronted them with a loaded hunting gun, near St. Lazarus’s Primary School on Phaneromeni Avenue.  The two men, who are Israeli nationals, ran off, so the Cypriot promptly shot one of them.  In the buttocks.   

The CM has changed its online version of the story to the less embarrassing "lower back area" while the print edition headlines buttocks (page 7).  Personally, Footsteps prefers the buttocks story.  In fact, we just like the word so we'll say it again: buttocks.  

Forrest Chump in Cyprus

The Cypriot guy was arrested and charged with attempted murder and illegally carrying and discharging a firearm.  The Israeli with the very sore bum has been charged with theft.

Strong contenders for Footsteps’ CHUMPS OF THE WEEK awards but there’s always room for more.  They just keep coming.  

Our hearts were made for you, O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in You.

- St. Augustine of Hippo

Big Brother Kokos

Town halls in Cyprus are to be given more police-like powers under new reforms by the Ministry of Justice, Peter Stevenson reports in the CM today.

Town hall officials objected to his fashion sense

This is "so that the police can concentrate on solving serious crimes", Justice Minister Jonas Nicolaou said. 

Because they haven’t been able to concentrate so far, poor things. Or solve crimes.  

Under the new structure, local authorities will have the power to issue fines to motorists committing driving offences, nightclub and bar owners breaking no smoking laws, licensing permits and noise pollution laws.  The municipalities will also be directly responsible for animal welfare and health and safety on beaches. 

Animal welfare in Cyprus?  I love it when government ministers give me a good laugh. 

Stavros says: "I'm gonna be alright"

Driving offences subject to municipal fines will include:

·         Running red lights

·         Leaving a car unlocked (???)

·         Exceeding the number of passengers (???)

·         Illegally changing lanes

·         Cars with tinted windows!  (Does that include the presidential motorcade and government ministers' cars?)

Otherwise, just about all drivers in Cyprus then.   

Not on the list:  double parking; talking on a mobile phone while driving; failing to stop for pedestrians at zebra crossings; using the horn to greet friends, celebrate football victories or weddings; revving the engine and squealing tyres pretending you’re in the Grand Prix.  Guess all that's ok, phew.  

So presumably we shall soon see civil servants dressed like Robocops whizzing around on huge BMW motorbikes, tasering absent-minded old lady drivers who’ve forgotten to lock their car.  Much more fun for the bureaucrats than sitting at a desk all day.   

Mr. Nicolaou of the Ministry of Injustice said the changes are being implemented “slowly” (No! Really?) and that a study was completed by “experts” who found that some police departments in Cyprus were all performing the same job, i.e. the job of doing nothing.  The police will be relieved to hear that under the new plans they will have even less to do. 

turtles at Lara Beach said:  "we applaud the changes"

Take heart, folks.  We can look forward a new blissful era of Utopian Cyprus where all citizens and authorities will uphold the law.  There will be no crime, corruption, or law-breaking because of high levels of state efficiency and public altruism.  We will have spotlessly clean beaches and streets, no stray dogs or cats, courteous drivers, and bars playing gentle Gregorian Chant music sung by Carthusian monks. 

They that forsake the law praise the wicked man.  They that keep it are incensed against him.

- Proverbs 28:4 (D-R)

What if my house be troubled with a rat?

The largest university of Cyprus, the University of Nicosia, has become the first university of the world to accept Bitcoins, the CM reports. 

Umm, should they be boasting about this? 

future students of the Uni of Nicosia

CNN has called Bitcoins a “shady online currency".  The cryptocurrency's associations with money laundering, cyberhacking, theft, deception, and tax evasion have sparked past interest from the FBI.  

The uni's Chief Financial Officer, Dr. Christos Vlachos, told the CM that criminal activities are conducted with all forms of currency.  Oh, that's alright, then!  Thanks, Dr., for telling us the university of Nicosia is not that bothered about financial abuse.

Dr. Vlachos, there is a very good reason why no other university of the world accepts this dodgy payment method.  It makes the university and the country look dodgy.  Can you imagine the Russell Group or the Ivy League doing it?  

Dr. Vlachos unashamedly tells the CM that the University of Nicosia’s decision is designed to “help” African countries!  Ahahahaha.  Good one.  Will these “students” actually be physically attending courses at the university?  Who will be monitoring that?  

The University of Nicosia is an independent (private) institution.  According to the uni's website, non-EU undergraduate tuition fees range from 9,090 euro to 11,550 euro per annum, not including bursaries.  For Masters degree programmes, fees are 10,800 to 18,240 euro p.a.  Not exactly cheap.  I don’t know what those fees are worth in Bitcoins, Congolese francs, or Russian rubles, but according to a Wall Street Journal (NY) report, the value of the Bitcoin is subject to wild fluctuations because it depends on the willingness of users to accept them.  In theory, their value could crash any time, making it impossible for these "students" to continue paying their fees, while the uni pockets the cash.  

In Iran, Bitcoins are used to avoid international currency sanctions. In other countries, the currency is associated with online gambling and pay-to-view pornography, drug trafficking and arms trading.  

A Bloomberg report of March 2013 (around the time the Cyprus financial crisis exploded) suggested the current economic mess of Cyprus is linked to the use of Bitcoins on the island.

A Wired (UK) study of April 2013 showed that nearly half (45%) of all Bitcoin exchanges end up being shut down, with merchants taking their clients’ Bitcoins with them.  

Even the inventor of Bitcoins uses a fake name! 

Oh dear.  In the wake of the Troika's concern about Russian money laundering in Cyprus, is this the sort of public image Cyprus should be advertising to the world?  The University of Nicosia might as well start selling online fake degrees. 

See definition of Avarice.

No man can serve two masters.  For either he will hate the one, and love the other: or he will sustain the one, and despise the other.  You cannot serve God and mammon. 

- Matthew 6:24 (D-R)

Gay sex crimes

The Cypriot man bludgeoned to death at the derelict ruins of the Beau Rivage hotel on the Larnaca-Dhekelia Road paid the ultimate price of his life for a homosexual tryst. 

The CM is a bit scanty on the details of the case, but it is mystifying to me that this murder was reduced to a manslaughter charge, on the grounds that the killer, Stelios Mavroloukas (32) was acting in self-defence against unwanted sexual advances from the murder victim, Angelos Phedonos (46). 

Mavroloukas claimed that Phedonos tried to force him to have gay sex, threatening to harm his family if he didn't.  Mavroloukas said that his intention was to slap him "a couple of times" and scare him off, but not to kill him.   

So why had he arranged to meet an older gay man at an abandoned building site in the first place?  And why did he take a weapon (a wooden handle) to the meeting? 

The victim had 5 fatal head injuries and other bodily wounds.  At what point did Mavroloukas think this was just a slap?  He claimed he only knew about his death the day he was arrested. 

To me, this sounds like a violent sex game gone wrong. 

Mavroloukas got 15 years.

One of my gay Cypriot friends told me that many gay men and women in Cyprus try to hide their homosexuality with sham marriages, while practising in secret.  The Cyprus military still bars homosexuals by law.  Gay sexual conduct is a crime in Cypriot military law, the penalty for which is 6 months’ imprisonment, although this is rarely enforced.  Gay Cypriots suffer great shame and social stigma in a culture that upholds traditional gender roles on “manly” men and “feminine” women. 

Pope Francis recently made headlines by formally responding to a group of gay and lesbian Italian Catholics.  While practising Catholics believe homosexual acts are sinful and immoral – just as all sexual acts outside consecrated marriage are, including adultery, fornication, pornography, etc. because such acts are essentially anti-creation and therefore anti-life and anti-God – the predilection, desire or inclination towards homosexuality is not. 

But as one priest I know once said, “The problem with all sin is that it tends to generate other sins.”  Had Phedonos and Mavroloukas not arranged a sordid homosexual encounter, Phedonos might still be alive today, and Mavroloukas would not be in prison. 

I remember the Beau Rivage in the '80s when it was a charming 3* hotel with beautifully manicured lawns surrounding a clean, well maintained swimming pool.  Many happy an afternoon was spent there.  Nowadays it is a burnt out shell, a crumbling eyesore in the tourist district of Larnaca, and a murder scene.  It should be razed to the ground. 

Added 18/11/2013 - Tourists should beware of bogus websites and travel agencies that are still selling rooms for this hotel with outdated photos as if it is still in business.  It is not.  See Footsteps's follow-up post.  

For in many things we all offend.  If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man.  He is able also with a bridle to lead about the whole body.  - James 3:2 (D-R)