Big Brother Kokos

Town halls in Cyprus are to be given more police-like powers under new reforms by the Ministry of Justice, Peter Stevenson reports in the CM today.

Town hall officials objected to his fashion sense

This is "so that the police can concentrate on solving serious crimes", Justice Minister Jonas Nicolaou said. 

Because they haven’t been able to concentrate so far, poor things. Or solve crimes.  

Under the new structure, local authorities will have the power to issue fines to motorists committing driving offences, nightclub and bar owners breaking no smoking laws, licensing permits and noise pollution laws.  The municipalities will also be directly responsible for animal welfare and health and safety on beaches. 

Animal welfare in Cyprus?  I love it when government ministers give me a good laugh. 

Stavros says: "I'm gonna be alright"

Driving offences subject to municipal fines will include:

·         Running red lights

·         Leaving a car unlocked (???)

·         Exceeding the number of passengers (???)

·         Illegally changing lanes

·         Cars with tinted windows!  (Does that include the presidential motorcade and government ministers' cars?)

Otherwise, just about all drivers in Cyprus then.   

Not on the list:  double parking; talking on a mobile phone while driving; failing to stop for pedestrians at zebra crossings; using the horn to greet friends, celebrate football victories or weddings; revving the engine and squealing tyres pretending you’re in the Grand Prix.  Guess all that's ok, phew.  

So presumably we shall soon see civil servants dressed like Robocops whizzing around on huge BMW motorbikes, tasering absent-minded old lady drivers who’ve forgotten to lock their car.  Much more fun for the bureaucrats than sitting at a desk all day.   

Mr. Nicolaou of the Ministry of Injustice said the changes are being implemented “slowly” (No! Really?) and that a study was completed by “experts” who found that some police departments in Cyprus were all performing the same job, i.e. the job of doing nothing.  The police will be relieved to hear that under the new plans they will have even less to do. 

turtles at Lara Beach said:  "we applaud the changes"

Take heart, folks.  We can look forward a new blissful era of Utopian Cyprus where all citizens and authorities will uphold the law.  There will be no crime, corruption, or law-breaking because of high levels of state efficiency and public altruism.  We will have spotlessly clean beaches and streets, no stray dogs or cats, courteous drivers, and bars playing gentle Gregorian Chant music sung by Carthusian monks. 

They that forsake the law praise the wicked man.  They that keep it are incensed against him.

- Proverbs 28:4 (D-R)